ASK EATER: WHERE DO I FIND LATE-NIGHT TAKEOUT WHILE STONED?

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Where can a few stoners get late-night takeout? Short staffing foiled the last 10 p.m. trip to our neighborhood Taco Bell. Bonus points for big portions and an easy-to-read menu.

Ollie & Colby

Hey, Ollie and Colby! I’ll admit, late-night takeout has become a trickier find recently, with short-staffing and a slow-to-recover nightlife scene, but a few spots come to mind immediately that should fit the bill.

If “late night” means open until 10 p.m. or later, Portland has a good number of really amazing stoner food options. It’s been a while, but when I partake, I tend to crave giant, meaty, cheesy things; Devil’s Dill’s Number Four is a classic, a take on a beef-and-cheddar with grilled onions, peppers, and this really great horseradish aioli. Plus, Devil’s Dill offers free delivery after 5 p.m., if you’ve reached couch potato status. If pho and banh mi are more of the vibe, Luc Lac is open until 11 p.m. And for pizza, Baby Doll is open until 11 p.m. at the earliest, with things like meatball subs and Italian heroes as well.

If you’re looking for something available after midnight, however, things get harder — but not impossible, particularly if you check out some bar menus. Dots is perhaps one of the best options for late-night stoner food, with piles of cheesy fries and tots, nachos, and stacked sandwiches. For a burger, Tulip Shop on North Killingsworth makes one of the best in town available after midnight (if you order it on Friday or Saturday). And on the other side of the river, Hapa Barkada — within the cocktail bar Below by Botanist — is a treasure trove of stoner bait: mac-and-cheese lumpia, Filipino-style marinated chicken nuggets, ahi poke bombs.

The other Portland late-night tradition is Javier’s on Lombard, one of the very few remaining 24-hour restaurants in the city serving carnitas burritos and cheese quesadillas. A mountain of carne asada fries, slathered in guacamole, seems like a surefire option for a hungry stoner. And while it closes at midnight, El Burrito Azteca is a common stoner stop for fat burritos stuffed with fries and shredded beef.

Of course, if you’re vegan, none of these options work for you. In that case, I’d head in the direction of Black Water, the vegan venue known for its drag shows and concerts. You can order takeout online, which includes all the classic stoner food standards, vegan-ified: soy protein Buffalo wings, vegan burgers with tempeh bacon, mac and cashew cheese. The bar is open until midnight every day.

If none of these options seem like the move, we do have a longer late-night dining map with plenty of options (Reel M Inn fried chicken, for instance). And for dessert, the Pix-o-Matic — a 24-hour fancy dessert vending machine — is a prime option for someone (like me) who gets too high and overwhelmed by the prospect of speaking to a human in the wild. Good luck out there, and happy snacking.

2024-04-18T21:42:01Z dg43tfdfdgfd